


I swear i'd burn the city down to show you the lights

by SnorkleShit



Series: I thought of angels (choking on their halos) [14]
Category: RWBY
Genre: (mentioned) - Freeform, Abusive Parents, Cardin Winchester is a Faunus, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Faunus!Cardin, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Pre-Slash, Self Confidence Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-17
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-21 06:12:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4818104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnorkleShit/pseuds/SnorkleShit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heads clash between Cardin and Pyrrha on how to handle Jaune's family situation, and Cardin and Jaune have a moment they both dearly needed. All in all, it's the start of something...new.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I swear i'd burn the city down to show you the lights

**Author's Note:**

> SOUNDTRACK :  
> https://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/letting-people-down-is-my-thing-baby#smart_id
> 
>  
> 
> (I keep trying to hyperlink this, but it doesn't seem to be working, so sorry about that!)

Cardin stormed through the halls, heart beating fast. It made sense now. That fucking asshole Augustus had looked at JNPR like that because there was no way they could be worthy if _Jaune_ was their leader. Because Jaune was apparently a _disappointment_. Heat bubbled under Cardin’s skin. He had to find them and tell them exactly how fucking wrong they were, how fucking ridiculous and horrible it was to think that Jaune of all people could ever be anything other than what he was. Which was amazing, and funny, and kind, and hard working, and a somehow idiotic genius-

His thoughts were halted violently by his body running directly into another body. He stumbled back in surprise - as did Pyrrha. He blinked at her. 

“What are you doing out this late, Cardin? You should be sleeping, we have a big day tomorrow.” Pyrrha said once she regained her composure. She was still in her armour. Did she ever take it off?

“What are you doing out this late? What, am I not allowed a midnight stroll?” He asked incredulously. She huffed, looking away. 

“I’m looking for Jaune.” She responded

“Have you tried the roof? Isn’t that you’re special romantic spot?” Cardin asked, a surprising amount of bitterness in his voice. Pyrrha’s head whipped to look him in the eyes.

“Contrary to popular belief, there is nothing romantic going on between me and Jaune. Friendship, close friendship, yes. My romantic interests currently lie dormant, and Jaune’s lie somewhere else. Even if he hasn’t realized it yet.” She replied. Cardin cocked his head in surprise.

“Really? Who? Does he still like Weiss? Or Ruby or something?” He asked, peaked interest taking precedence over his original mission. 

Pyrrha rolled her eyes in exasperation. “It doesn’t matter right now. Regardless, no, he wasn’t on the roof. Have you seen him? I think what happened today with his parents upset him more than he wants to let on.” Pyrrha sighed. Her words made him remember the events in the garden, and what he had been so set on. He clenched his fists.

“Havn’t seen him. No kidding, what happened was fucking bullshit. And if you think that’s bad, you should have been there to overhear what I heard his parents saying outside like five fucking minutes ago. I’ve got to find them, we need to have words, have you seen them?” He demanded, jerking his thumb over his shoulder. Pyrrha's eyes widened.

“What? No! Regardless of what you thought you heard, Cardin, you have _no_ right to interfere. Augustus and Celeste are respected members of society, our elders, and guests of this establishment. It is not our business to confront them, especially not here, and not now, and especially over something you _eavesdropped_ on.” She whisper-yelled in an urgent, determined tone as she took a step closer to him. 

Cardin’s anger boiled over, finding its way to his mouth. “I didn’t fucking intend to eavesdrop, it was an accident, thank you very much. But i’m damn glad I did, because I don’t fucking care about how respected they are by society. They don’t have any right to think about their son like that. They have no fucking idea what they’re talking about and it’s my responsibility to inform them. I’m doing a fucking civic duty, if you really wanna get respectable about it, _Mrs. Perfect._ You’re the best warrior in this school and you obviously don’t know anything about real _confrontation_ , I bet you’ve never had to struggle with anything in your life.” He snarled lowly.

Her eyes flashed dangerously. “Don’t you ever call me that. You don’t know anything about respect, or dignity. You don’t even respect yourself. All you ever do is struggle because you have no idea how to properly handle anything. You break everything you touch and you don’t have any right to go up yelling at people for their _thoughts_ when you’re _actions_ have never been anything but horrendous towards others. Responsibility? How is it _your_ responsibility to lecture them when you’re the person who’s probably hurt Jaune the worst? Is it because he saved you? Are you trying to repay a debt, is that what all of this is about?” She demanded. 

“That’s exactly why it’s my responsibility!” Cardin saw red around the edges of his vision, and tasted metal on his tongue. At the same time, he felt his lip trembling. “I hurt him! I break everything, I hurt everyone! He wants me to be better, and I want to be better. But for the first time in my entire life, I finally feel like I know what the right thing is, and that’s making sure that those people understand that their son isn’t a disappointment, that they’re wrong about him being a failure!” He hissed. Pyrrha's eyes widened.

“That’s- that's what they said? They said that?” She asked.

“Yes! They said that this school must be a joke to have let him in, that all of JNPR must be shit for Jaune to be the leader! And they’re convinced that he’s going to fail here, but we both know he isn’t. Did you see the way Augustus looked at all of you after he found out Jaune was the leader? If _anyone_ doesn’t understand respect, it’s-” Cardin was almost done with his vehement statement when a noise cut him off, and the two warriors whipped around to see what had caused the disturbance.

Jaune stood behind them, halfway hidden behind the turn in the corridor. He was staring at them like a deer caught in headlights. His eyes were red rimmed, his face pale. He was frozen in place reaching for his shield, which had clattered to the floor after he had accidentally hit the button. After a split second of staring, Jaune whirled around and ran.

“Shit, do you think he heard me?” Cardin breathed.

“Obviously, he did. It seems everyone gets overheard around here.” Pyrrha said solemnly. Then she put a hand on Cardin’s shoulder, causing him to look at her, still distressed over Jaune.

“Go after him.” She said simply. Cardin stepped back.

“What, me? I can’t. I can’t do that, you should go.” He stammered.

“You should go, because you know it’s the right thing to do. Running off to start a scene with his parents in the middle of the night is not the right thing to do, but you were right about it in theory. You want them to know the truth, and I agree. But right now, Jaune’s the one who needs the truth. I know that your family was abusive, and I’m sorry. But...can you imagine having an almost perfect family? One that tries to be supportive, but all they really do is set you up to fail? I’m starting to understand why Jaune was so...obsessed with getting into Beacon, with doing it himself. He belongs here, and he deserves to know it, so go tell him.” Pyrrha insisted, gesturing towards the way Jaune had gone. Cardin stared at her. 

“B-but, me? Why me? I was ready to go yell at someone, yeah, that’s what i’m good at. Jaune needs _comfort_. I don’t...I can’t…” Cardin swallowed past a lump in his throat, and Pyrrha sighed with a sad smile.

“Yes you can, because you care about him, and you believe in him. You do not break everything you touch, Cardin. I shouldn’t have said that. If anything, you break things because you’re afraid to catch them. Now go find Jaune before it’s too late.” She said firmly, then turned and began to walk away. Cardin stared after her for an indecisive moment, before turning and setting off in a jog in the way Jaune had went, stopping to grab his shield.

 

\---------------------

 

After some wandering, backtracking, and guessing, Cardin finally found Jaune in the one place he wouldn’t have expected - outside the training arena, in between two bushes, his back against the wall and his knees drawn up. He didn’t hear or see Cardin approach, because his head was buried in his knees to muffle his own crying noises. Cardin’s heart twisted, and when he finally came to stand directly in front of Jaune, he set his shield down against the bush. 

The resulting movement and noise finally caught Jaune’s attention, and he nearly jumped. His head whipped to look at Cardin in surprise, before his face twisted with emotion, and he look away. 

“Go away. I don’t want to be made fun of for crying right now.” He said, voice rough.  
“i’m not going to make fun of you.” Cardin replied.

“You would have before.” Jaune snapped back, wiping his runny nose on the sleeve of his casual clothing. Black pajama pants and a bunny shirt. How was he not freezing?

Cardin sighed. “Yeah, probably. And, just like everything else I did or do, it would have been really _really_ hypocritical. I’ve probably cried more tears in a month than you have you’re whole life.” Cardin shrugged. Jaune glanced up at him.

“What is that supposed to mean?” He asked, tone apprehensive.

Cardin scuffed his shoe against the grass. “I used to be a huge crybaby, and I got in trouble for it because my father said only cowards cry. I would cry myself to sleep every night, and my brother Jonathan would hear me and make fun of me. Every time they did sink into me with their endless games of insults, I would end up crying. Everytime my dad or them hurt me, I’d cry, and because of that they’d hurt me more. Every time I wasn’t good enough i’d cry, and then i’d get hurt more, so eventually I forced myself to stop crying. But to be honest, I think not crying is the more cowardly thing to do. Being open is harder and braver than people think.” He said, voice struggling to remain neutral. It felt...unnatural to talk candidly about himself like this, it made his skin crawl. But at the same time, something inside of him felt pleased, because he had a feeling this was the right thing to do.

Jaune tilted his head up towards him all the way, expression thoughtful, but still vulnerable.  
“I guess you’re right. That means alot, coming from you. I’m...sorry they hurt you.” Jaune said. Then Jaune tightened his arms around himself, teeth chattering slightly, and look away again.

“Sometimes I think my family is too open.” He muttered.

Cardin hesitated for a moment, before he got down on the ground, and sat next to Jaune. Jaune didn’t make any move to pull away. 

“I can see what you mean.” He replied.

“You were really going to go yell at them, weren’t you?” Jaune asked, looking down at his knees. Cardin huffed.

“I felt hellbent on it. Still kind of do. As I said, expressing things is...not my cup of tea. At least, it isn’t anymore. Anger is the only thing i’ve got.” Cardin shrugged, tone slightly proud, slightly shameful.

Jaune shook his head a little. “No, it’s not all you’ve got. It’s just all you let people see. There’s a difference. Just like all Yang let’s people see is jokes, and Ren with his….well, Ren-ness.” 

“And you, with your kindness.” Cardin said, then internally winced at how cheesy that sounded. Jaune shrugged. 

“Niceness isn’t gonna get me far.” He muttered, rubbing his arms against himself a little to try and shield from the cold. Before Cardin could stop himself, he found himself hesitantly reaching an arm out to wrap around Jaune’s shoulders, hesitating just above the mark.

_You break everything you touch._

Before Cardin could make any other sort of move, Jaune scooted closer and practically curled against Cardin, and Cardin could feel how cold Jaune was. Cardin slowly let his arm fall to rest around Jaune’s shivering shoulders, heart pounding at the speed of light. Was this fucking real? This could not be really happening. He couldn’t recall a time when he’d been this close to someone without pain involved. It was...terrifying. But nice. Really nice. 

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” Cardin finally managed to get out, noting how Jaune slowly stopped shivering . “I….” Cardin swallowed past something trying to block his throat, and closed his eyes.

"I was always taught that being strong was the most important thing, and that meant being powerful." He said, terrified of what he intended to admit into the midnight air. Jaune tilted his head up towards him.

"What do you mean?" He asked. 

Cardin kicked his lips nervously. "I mean....that having power over others was what made someone strong. That's what my father taught me. But I've always known deep down....that he was wrong. And it's becoming increasingly more obvious lately. And it's hard for me, to admit, that I've been trying so hard to live a lie I knew was a lie. It means I really just don't have any excuse for my actions. I don't. Because...being strong isn't about control." God, he felt like he had left his body and all its constant turmoil behind, and he was floating somewhere in the sky with just Jaune's warmth as an anchor.

Jaune looked up at him with something that had no words to be described.

"What does it mean to be strong?" Jaune asked.

Cardin swallowed, and opened his eyes to stare at the stars.

"I don't know yet. I think it means a lot of things. But...kindness is for sure a part of it. This world...hurts people. In all sorts of ways. And the fact that some people are still so good, and kind, it means they've got something strong and unbreakable inside of them, and it's something I've always envied. Does that make sense?" He asked, hoping to pull some of the speech in the air away from himself.

Jaune nodded. "I think I get it. All that stuff you said to Pyrhha...I know you really mean it. But…” His voice trembled onward without much content, and Cardin felt a flash of an emotion he had yet to identify.

“No _buts_ , Jaune. You belong here.” He said sternly. Jaune rolled his neck.

“No, I don’t. I cheated my way in here. The school isn’t a joke for letting me in, I just lied to people who were good enough to trust me. My parents are right. I won’t last, I was never supposed to be here, and it’ll end up like everything else I try to do.” He said bitterly, voice sad and defeated. Cardin bite the inside of his cheek.

“Jaune, you belong here because you’re really fucking smart, and you’ve got qualities beyond the physical, and you’re becoming a fairly good fighter. Yet, despite how smart i’ve seen you be, you’re also somehow really really fucking slow sometimes, aren't you?” Cardin exclaimed. Jaune turned to face him.

“You don’t have to -” He started angrily, but Cardin cut him off.

“Do you really think Ozpin doesn’t _know_?” Cardin demanded incredulously. This stopped Jaune. The blonde boy blinked at him.

“Wh-what?” He asked. Cardin sighed.

“Have you met Ozpin? Yeah, sure you faked all the credentials and test scores, but at the end of the day every person is hand picked by Ozpin. I know people almost as good as fighters as Pyrrha from my old school who weren’t accepted. Ozpin obviously took one look at you and your files and knew they were faked. There’s no way that you could get something past that guy. He made the decision not only to accept you, but to make you a _leader_. He took more of a risk and see’s something in you even more than with Ruby. That guy knows _everything_.” Cardin explained, recalling the way Ozpin constantly appeared out fo nowhere, how he had told them to go find Cardin that night in the arena. 

Jaune’s eyes widened and his face went pale as Cardin talked. He put his head in his hands.

“Holy shit, you’re right. He totally knows. He has to know, how could I think he didn’t? Oh my god. Oh my god, why would he let me in? Oh my god.” Jaune breathed in amazement, and confusion.

Cardin slouched back against the stone wall, giving Jaune’s shoulders a squeeze.

“You know why, deep down. It’s the same reason that JNPR follows you without doubt, and everyone else. They see it, on the battlefield, and in your heart. You’ve got something special and you know it. Also, you’re a hard worker, and I have no doubt you’re gonna be a better fighter than me pretty soon. You just have to believe in yourself the way everyone else does.” Cardin told him. Jaune sighed.

“I...don’t know if I can figure out how to do that. It’s all such a mess, in my head, it’s just confusing and I just don’t _know_...” Jaune confessed. Cardin raised his eyebrows.

“I know the feeling. It’ll be alright, you don’t have to think so hard about it right now. Just...relax for a little bit, with a grand knowledge that you do, in fact, belong here.” Cardin announced. Jaune laughed a slightly sad laugh, and then he leaned into Cardin a little bit more, letting his head drop back against Cardin’s bicep. His soft, blonde hair fell over his cheekbones as he looked towards the sky, and Cardin’s heart inexplicably skipped a beat. Cardin decided to look away, up towards the stars was well, since staring at Jaune would just be weird. 

“You’re really warm.” Jaune said after a moment of silence.

“You’re just saying that because you’re dumb ass ran out here in pajamas, whereas I had the common sense to wear something warmer on my angst walks.” Cardin responded dryly.

“No, you’ve always been warm. I used to notice it when we...weren’t really friends, but you’d always y'know, sling your arm around my neck and call me buddy or whatever. You’ve always been warmer than anyone else.” Jaune told him absently. Cardin’s gut churned at the memories of the the past, but he nodded thoughtfully.

“Well, I guess i’m just hot like that.” He replied. Jaune snorted, and elbowed him.

“Don’t be an ass, we’re having a moment.” 

“Oh, so first i’m hot, and now my ass is up for discussion? What a scandal. I’ll have to turn Russel down for the Vytal Festival party.” Cardin guffawed jokingly.

“Really? Russell?” Jaune asked.

“Nah, he’s got eyes for some blonde second year girl. And don’t tell them I told you this, but I have a feeling Dove and Sky have some things to work out. For a living lie detector, Dove really isn’t as perceptive as he thinks he is. Which is comforting. That shit is kind creepy.” Cardin admitted.

“No doubt. I think they mean well, though.” Jaune nodded.

“Yeah. It’s only because of me they haven't’ got the chance to figure themselves out sooner.” Cardin sighed.

Jaune shrugged. “I don’t think so. Like you said, have you met Ozpin? He put you in charge for a reason. I mean, they mean well, but they were followers. Sheep. Did whatever the strongest guy wanted, those types of people, but it never really meant anything. Something about you, about all of this, it’s changing them. You guys may fight a lot but....I think that’s a good thing, in the long run. If someone else had been in charge, they wouldn’t care like they do now, they would still be afraid and pretending to be brave. If that makes sense.” Jaune added.

Cardin was silent for a moment, darkness creeping at the edge of his tired mind.

“Yeah, probably. It’s hard to think about it this late...afraid and pretending to be brave? Isn’t that what everyone does?” Cardin asked, with a yawn. Jaune huffed.

“Yeah, true. Should we get back?” The other boy asked.

“Probably. My hot ass can only keep you warm for so long, after all.” Cardin replied, a strange bubbly, light feeling taking the place of turmoil and anger inside of him. 

 

“Oh, whatever.”


End file.
